Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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