the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
