I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
