So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
