Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize