I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Two words: nipple clamps
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