I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Found your dick twin last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
