At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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