I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
