No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
