dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
