Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
