so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
