I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
