Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
