It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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