I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
