My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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