Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
