That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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