the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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