Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
