I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
