If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
