Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize