Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I AM VODKA MAN
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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