dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
