hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
