We're facebook friends in real life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize