I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
