the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You ate ashes out of my bong
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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