So drunk, too bad you don't want this
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
