Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Life is so much better after having sex.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
