Pants 0. Shit 1.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
