Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?

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(904): There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it? http://tfl.nu/a6bf

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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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(651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg

Replies (19) Good night (3734) Bad night (1029) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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(410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m

Replies (15) Good night (4468) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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(504): View more from Louisiana

He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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(504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p

Replies (7) Good night (3422) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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(845): i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over. http://tfl.nu/5sx1

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(520): View more from Arizona

Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.

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(520): Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries. http://tfl.nu/00in

Replies (6) Good night (2536) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?

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(937): Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/9ufc

Replies (12) Good night (3768) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.

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(303): I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college. http://tfl.nu/snfw

Replies (3) Good night (3705) Bad night (494)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(612): I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/cvm1

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

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(780): Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem? http://tfl.nu/k3dz

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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(203): I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion http://tfl.nu/g8mo

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(956): View more from Texas

One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

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(956): One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth http://tfl.nu/vmxy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK

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(401): I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK http://tfl.nu/01hq

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(770): View more from Georgia

Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

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(770): Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now... http://tfl.nu/knzm

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

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(774): On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke. http://tfl.nu/xwsd

Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt

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