I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.