Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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