Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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