booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
