I saw his package. It spoke to me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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