Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
