You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fuck appropriateness.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
