How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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