Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
