I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize