My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Help. Why am I so naked?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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