I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
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Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize