nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
