Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
