He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This baby is an asshole
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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