I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
