we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
