I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The ass gains better be worth it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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