I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
