Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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