im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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