is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
