How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
