I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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