i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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