Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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