the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
