sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
