what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she told me i tasted like america
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
